Tuesday, 13 April 2010

Doorstep - Letting In

The reason I was not writing since my birthday post is very understandable: I lost my job again.
When my boss told me the company is not doing well at all and they can not afford my salary that was ok, but when I heard the words "we have to close this position" that, that seemed like a joke.
It will feel as unreal to you if you would read my previous post. 
Well, nothing to do. I gathered my belongings and rushed home to join H that learned about the cancer diagnosis of her mother.

All these words, what do they have to do with a doorstep?
Well it was in that awful rainy weather that I returned home in a hurry with all those bags full of my office stuff, in the doorstep of the building sitting there looking for my keys in all that clutter that from my back I heard this voice for me: "what is that does not exist in a woman's bag?". I turned, this was the waterguy, smiling with his limpid blue eyes. I wiped my cheeks and avoiding my face I said " oh, yes, what is it?", he replied "order!" and laughed.
I knew him from before. His name was Mesut which meant "happy" but somehow I saw the deep sorrow in his immense blue eyes before.
It was only in the lift that he learned about my day. He was sorry to hear. He said that he has blue days as well and that the ones we love are the ones that hurt the more. He told me about how he overcomes bad days like these, with his glass of red wine going to his favorite hill or with her 3 years old daughter.

He was polite and said he had to leave for new orders and left with his warm words. I was sweeping my tears.

I went to the shower to leave soon for H. Best thing is to cry in the shower when you don't know what to do now and you are sort of collapsed.
The door rang, I wondered who it was.
It was him.. with a bar of chocolate and a bunch of water bottles in his other hand.
I hugged. And thanked.
The days that followed, I was busy but I had a plan.
But I could not contact him since he was not working for my water company I realised.
It was only after second time where I had this magnet of another water company that dropped when I opened my door of my 2 cat populated home, that I realised it was him and he was trying to contact me as well.
The photo above is taken this morning, my very human touch, M and my cat and my new water bottle.
He was surprised for gift package for his daughter and the small note I wrote for him as well as a letter of appreciation to his company where I explained the reason why I converted to their water.
After I told him my part of the story after he left, he told me his.
The day afte he left, he had a terrible car accident where people were surprised that he survived.
In his hospital room, he saw a dream where he wakes up and sees me as a nurse, my smile and a bar of chocolate that I hand to him saying "this chocolate will make you feel better and ease your pain."
What a beautiful story to write back to you..
What a life..
Such a healing of strangers, in a doorstep.
Where indoors, it is the ones that we love the most, that hurt the most


  1. Very lovely post this morning.
    While we may think our lives are the only ones touched with trouble, we find that our troubles are but small compared to many others.
    Live Life Well - and give thanks for today.
    Love and Hugs,

  2. I'm so sorry to hear about you losing your job. I've heard too many stories like yours in the past few years. I agree with you, I do some of my best crying in the shower. What a wonderful surprise to make a new friend and especially one as handsome has Mesut. I hope you find a new job soon. Your friend is very lucky to have you to help her through this difficult time with her mother's diagnosis.

  3. I just found your blog and red your post about losing your job and about your new friend Mesut. I am so moved by your sharing and by the feeling that there are so many things you are unable to tell. Then I realized that you wrote this last post almost one month ago. Please write again. I have found too that it's hard to reveal yourself...even when that was your intention when you started your blog. I am living in the home of my dreams, but there is a hole in my life too.

    Please don't stop writing.


  4. Dear Carol,

    Yesterday I believed I had the inspiration I needed and as I turned on my pc to write the post, I receive your mail.
    I reread and reread it. Thank you for your delicately built sentences and encouragement!

    I am glad to meet you here to share despite the distance

    Good luck with your new blog! will keep on reading it


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